Given the spectacle of kaiju candidates Ronzilla and King Don crushing Tokyo for the presidential nomination, it’s no surprise that Senate races are getting faster. But don’t miss them – watch the hell out for them. They are extremely essential because the Senate majority is a critical bulwark – not the wimpy kind, but the real one – against total Democratic dominance if we lose our razor-thin House majority and if we nominate a presidential candidate who fails overall. We have a very good map this cycle – we can’t screw it up again.
Let’s talk about the presidential nomination for a moment, because this is going to be essential. If we nominate Donald Trump, every invertebrate Democrat will crawl out of his hole to vote against him. Nothing motivates these weasels like Donald. This is true even if that grumpy, senile pervert with a chlamydia streak is on the list. Sure, Democratic voters understand that Biden is in a persistent vegetative state — maybe he should borrow a little of Hunter’s punch to liven things up — but they hate Trump more. Choosing Keystone Shrek shows that they are willing to vote for the golem over Trump. Unfortunately, the same goes for some Republicans who won’t vote for Big T anyway – they should vote for the candidate anyway, but people aren’t always rational. So in the Senate race, if Trump is the nominee, this will make a huge difference. You don’t have to like this reality, but it is reality.
Here’s another wild card. You may have noticed, if you haven’t received the message from the regime media, that Joe Biden is a massively corrupt scumbag with a stoned son who leaves his yeyo lying in the Oval Office when he’s not spewing insults from the asses of Ukrainian whores. Well, the House GOP has noticed and is picking up the goods. The odds of the Republican Party impeaching Biden next year are about the same as the odds of Hunter Biden picking up a stripper on an average Wednesday night at Cinnamon Hippo – 100%. This poses a problem because Democratic senators from red and purple states will have to vote to convict PINO – President In Name Only – and if they go with the evidence, they will alienate the pinkos they need. If they don’t, normal people might get offended by giving Crusty a pass. This is a huge dilemma for them, and their pain as they contort their flabby bodies trying to somehow avoid it will be hysterically hilarious.
Additionally, no Senate GOP discussion will be complete without mentioning Mitch McConnell. Love him, hate him, whatever – he was the dominant force in the Senate for years, and now… where has he gone? We can barely hear him. We know that he recently suffered a stern injury and is definitely not in the spotlight when he returns. His record in 2022 – like many others – was bad. Maintaining a low profile may facilitate staunch conservatives who are practically done with him. Not being the face of the Senate race will facilitate, but it won’t take him out of the game. You can be sure that he will be present behind the scenes, including collecting money.
Let’s look at the key Senate races and understand that if Republicans are clever, they can win the two seats we need to regain the majority. But remember, these are Republicans.
West Virginia: Joe Manchin couldn’t be toastier if he were made with Wonderbread and slathered in butter. Democrats in WV are an anomaly that simply cannot be survived. There’s a good chance Joe won’t even escape, and will instead accept the No Labels nod or do something else to escape the upcoming humiliation. There is no needle he can thread that will save his seat in 2024. This is a lock for the GOP.
Ohio: Sherrod Brown is a strange communist idiot that my home state has inexplicably elected several times, even as it has become increasingly redder over the years. The idea of ​​a younger, less masculine Bernie Sanders representing Ohio is a bizarre one, and this cycle it’s time to send him where the burnt-out Pinkos go. Trump won’t hurt the GOP here, but the impeachment issue will hurt Brown because Brown considers another Democrat to be sane for his crimes. I like Bernie Moreno here, but this is going to be an essential primary because the GOP smells blood. This is a likely GOP victory.
Montana: Trump’s support – or even his presence on the ballot – could facilitate here. Jon Tester, who pretends to be a common-sense moderate at home but plays communist puppies with his far-left Democratic overlords in Washington, is running again. This is the candidate who is most screwed up if Kevin McCarthy succeeds in impeachment. In Montana, it will matter whether the cut-off Communications Symptom who voted to impeach Trump hands Biden a free “Get Out of the White House” card. The Republican problem in Montana is, as usual, the Republicans. It is not known who will run for the seat. The facility is trying to acquire self-financing. It’s always risky, and even if they do get in, self-funders are often gentle. Matt Rosedale, who is a bit nasty, is the other massive name, but he has already failed one test against Tester. Testers should be an effortless pick, but leave it to the GOP to make an effortless win a tough one. For the Republican Party, this is a toss-up that we can easily screw up.
Indiana: I wasn’t even going to mention this race since Rep. Jim Banks sewed it up, but one day some self-funded egg magnate named John Rust he made noise talking about jumping in. This literal RINO, when he even bothers to vote in primaries, often votes Democratic – it’s unclear whether he identifies as a Republican at all, even though he claims to belong to that party this week. Apparently Rust believes there is an untapped groundswell of Hoosier support for giving up on a proven winner like Banks and instead embracing a narcissistic twit with a track record of supporting pinkos. Banks has the support of Trump and a bunch of senators we like, and probably the poultry community, for Eggboy. If this newest wealthy man with dreams of political fame is determined to waste his money, so be it. But Indiana will elect a true conservative in Jim Banks, even if that fucked-up fraudster decides to jump into the frying pan. This is a roadblock for the GOP.
Pennsylvania: The Democrat running this year is not a brain-damaged ogre. This is Bob Casey Jr., who pretended to be a moderate, but then decided he didn’t have to pretend anymore. His vote for Biden in the impeachment trial will be irrelevant. Let’s say you want to choose a semi-moving human sausage like Fetterman. Then you don’t vote against someone who wants hi-fi, Chi-com agents hand President Grafto a bag with a dollar sign. We need a powerful candidate, but PA tends to choose people who are DOA. There is speculation that Dr. Oz may run again. He’s a nice guy, but he doesn’t have to be. I like David McCormick, another Gulf War veteran who has the money and smarts to give him a good run. Moreover, if Trump is on the list, it will be very painful for us. This is challenging for the GOP and will be even more challenging if we nominate another delicate candidate.
Arizona: Kyrsten Sinema is now an independent, which means she’s a Democrat the party is enraged with, but not enraged enough to not confer with. She’s a staunch communist, but her pseudo-centrism – she always fights to win when Democrats need her – serves her well. Expect her to be the de facto, if not de facto, Democratic nominee.
We have to defeat her, but can we? Candidates matter, and Arizonans elected a bunch of Republican congressmen last time, so the votes are there. They simply refused to elect the remaining Republicans on the ballot. I like Kari Lake, but if she runs and gets nominated, we will almost certainly lose. Trump will hurt the GOP if he is allowed to do so – just like in Georgia, he has simply burned too many bridges with the party rank and file.
Oh, and there will be more voter fraud under Democrats. But fortunately, Trump’s choice of Republican Party Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel is a legitimate one and will certainly be as effective in 2024 as she was in 2020 and 2022. So the GOP can probably write off Arizona.
Nevada: What a heartbreaker. In Nevada, the senators are mediocre Democrats, and we barely lose to them. It doesn’t appear that Adam Laxalt will run again – he was proof that you can have a good candidate and still lose – and it’s unclear who would be able to defeat and win whoever the hell the current senator from Nevada is. He can freely vote to acquit the corrupt PINO; the Democrat machine transcends matters of mere politics and morality. Nevada doesn’t look good; this is a probable loss.
Wisconsin: The Democratic incumbent is notable middle-aged winemaker Tammy Baldwin, and Rep. Mike Gallagher thought she was running. It is not clear who will run – probably some self-financed wealthy man who will be bulldozed to defeat. Sad! Wisconsin is winnable, but you can’t beat someone without facilitate. Don’t get your hopes up here; this is another likely loss.
Utah: This state isn’t going Democratic, but we still need to win it back for Republicans. I want Mitt Romney not only defeated, but broken. I want him to give me a huge humiliation sandwich and watch him bite. He is a smug, narcissistic piece of trash who has deceived Mike Lee, Donald Trump and everyone else he has ever dealt with (I still don’t forgive him for what the spineless press did to Ric Grenel in 2012). But this is Utah, and Utahns are weird Republicans. Some are based. Some people are stuck in 2005. If Romney runs, he could win again, as crazy as it seems. I like Jason Chaffetz. It’s high time Utah got a second senator.
Bottom line is we’ll probably get two more seats if we don’t blow up one of our holds. But again, these are Republicans – never underestimate the GOP’s ability to screw things up.
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